Monday, January 22, 2007
That's Billy Madison, I heard he's retarded or something...
I don't know what to say anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm uneployed, of my own accord, and I am alone, of my own accord. It's funny, I often wish I could be suave with women, etcetera, when in all reality, I'm timid beyond belief because I'm afraid that they're all sexually active. Narrowing the pool to girls I know well enough to ask that question to. Narrowing the pool to puddle to girls who aren't who I know well enough to ask that question to. So could I get a date? Probably. But do I want to? No, not really. I'd rather be friends first. And that's funny because it never was that way before. But now that it's necessity, I'm okay with it. Because I don't want to date or even consider dating a defiled woman. Because casual sex is awkward. And scary. Mostly scary.
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wow, i've never seen this side of evan pugh before. and maybe it's for the better. i realize u r going to think i'm doing this bcuz u r in low spirits, but i'm not. i just think it's the ideal moment to say something like this. ever since i was a freshman, i always thought of u as a total weirdo, to be honest. to this day i think i'm still right about that :) anyway, only towards our mid-junior year did i start to perceive u differently. i believe u were presently in a relationship, and w/ this and our section constantly calling me mom and u dad, i took that into consideration. i don't mean i actually sat there and thought if u and me may one day be compatible for marriage w/ one another, but the possibility of something b/w us that could ever develop into a relationship beyond friends. (i'm sorry, but this is just a natural thing that grls do, we have to take this into consideration and all u kno.) and u kno what i found out?...quite a lot actually. after having so many of my friends remind me that though they found u to be very weird as i did, u were also very attractive, i began to realize it too, not just imagine it. and that's when i saw u differently. i saw a young man that i found to be very attractive, and although i butted heads w/ him all the time on political and religious issues, which as u kno i still do, i found him to be very intelligent in some ways more than others (like all of us, i suppose). i guess that was the time i started seeing u as a man...scary, huh?
well, that was adventurous...:)
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