I had this thought when I was pulling my T-Shirt out of my sweatshirt: What if I've turned into myself today because I was tired of being the sacred me of yesterday? I got tired of people telling me how perfect I was, how I never cursed, never did anything bad. I got tired of that shit.
And maybe I needed change. When what is working is tired, it is no longer working. It is laboring. I wanted to work, I didn't want to labor through my days any more. I wanted to be me. Not that me is unchristian, but that me is not me. I was pushing against the vulgarity, but, more than that, I was pushing against reality. There is a difference between being of this world and being naive. I have to know so as to change the knowing. And the things I do not know about are the things that I don't need to know about yet. I will find them, and they will find me. And I will change them. And I will change you.
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2 comments:
now we're talkin...fa sho! :)
this is odd.....i went to look for news articles on my dead brother in law....you have the same name and as I was reading your blogs, it sounded just like him....he ended up killing himself...don't do that. i know you may think that i am crazy, but if you ever need to talk, i am here. i dont believe in coincidence.
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