Is there anything worth living for anymore? Oh the love of God but it is not as strong as the love of a woman or the scent of a woman or the "I care" of a friend--all of which I feel i don't have. There seems to be no purpose, even in these the last days of my life. It feels so pointless and terrible and I hate it all. You're all a bunch of cunts but only because I have a distorted view of reality.

I can't sleep because I'm feeling like dying. I can't sleep because I am so discontent.

Maybe this is goodbye, maybe I'll finally gain the fucking balls to do it this time...

Or maybe there will be another post for another day...

Damn you, God, i just want love. I just want friendship, I just want camaraderie. Why can't you just give it to me?!