Forty-six

The doctor told me that I had 48 hours to live. He said about, "Level four blahblahblah," sounding like a Peanuts adult, speaking through a trumpet mute. All I knew was that I was dying...fast. I left the hospital without a medicine for melancholy--no solace, no comfort, no closeness, nowhere to rest my tired, feverish, dying head; all I had now was 47 hours and eight minutes. Thursday morning: 8 AM: Death comes like food stamps: in need and almost on time. I knew there were amends to make before I exploded--before I lay before the guillotine of cancer. I got in my car kn0owing today was not going to be a good day.

I also realized that I could murder and rape and pillage, get caught, and die before trial or sentencing... But where's the fun in that?

For now, amends. windwindwind the phonograph until the vinyl is flat... I must die a victrola.

It was ten in the morning. My first stop was my work where I sat in one of many cubicles in the rat maze where everyone vied for the same tampered piece of electric cheese. I had some last words to say to my boss. Some fury--nay, a big fucking bone to pick with her.

I rode the elevator to the upper-crust-eighth-floor and there I walked, paced, jogged, trotted towards her door at the end. I turned to her door and promptly opened it without knocking, without formality.

She was sitting at her desk in front of her window that convered most of the wall overlooking 17th street. She looked up and said, "Ever hear if knocking? It's been said it's a way of letting people know an asshole is on its way in."

I walked forward into the room, straight faced but wanting to laugh at the retort. I put my hand on a chair in front of me where some would get executed, persecuted, interrogated, and said, "I have about 46 hours to live."

I picked up the chair and flung it at the window behind her. It shattered into a thousandmillion pieces that rained down upon passersby so small. She was awestruck, bewildered, bitter, angry, confused, wondering, questioning, utterly emotionless. "Now go fuck off."

I took a running leap at her desk. I jumped over her and out the window, chasing the chair to the white concrete so red... so dark...