Evan

It seems that I've come into my awkward phase, only this time it's social. Sure, I was once awkward-looking, in Jr. High, as I grew into my skin and grew taller, etc, but now it seems like I have no skin or new skin...socially...

I used to get along splendidly with everyone, until things like alcohol and sex came into the mix. Then, I realized that I didn't want to be an idiot and do those types of things. They make people stupid and it bothers me. Alot. Especially when most girls my age are into that kind of thing and that leaves me out to dry, because I am, of course, on the finite hunt for love. It will come, but I don't her to be a drunkard.

But then the coin flips. And on that side are the Christians. Those that are so conservative that I have to shackle myself up so as not offend them, because I want a good image. It's frustrating because I'm awkward everyone now.

But that's just how it goes, I guess... It'll one day end, I know, but at the same time, I'm young and I'm supposed to be living it up. How, when "living it up" seems to be a decision between locking myself up tight and opening myself all the way open. I want drinkers who don't drink, Christians who aren't christian. As in, I want people who are moral yet aren't completely and utterly offended by the word "fuck." I want people who are sober thinkers, not drunk contortionists or pious closemindedness.

And that type of medium doesn't seem to exist. I feel like a cunt when I don't accept someone's offer for a beer, and I feel like a cunt when I go to a good party. How does it then want to be?