Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Selfish Manifesto

JP asked me to write him something explaining myself, this is what I came up with.

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I was born and bred in the amniotic fluid of cynicism, liberalism and passivism. Taught to have an open mind and not to take anything at face value. Have no trust until your heart is completely within the idea and without doubt. Complete the theosophy only if it is completeable.

Christ is the center of everything I think of and every conjecture I pull out of my ass. Christ as the God of Man of God because I am a Man of God of Man. I and the Father are one. I really believe I am enlightened to point of non-existance. To the point that nihilistic malcontention actually makes sense. My parents bred all of these things in me.

I am crazy. I am bipolar. I credit this to being why I am fearless in thought, because you can't be afraid of bullet trains as a blind man. We are blind.

At the same time, I simply am. Perfectly forever, I am. I am I am I am iam. I think that what I was raised to do was love what I like and hate what I must but always have an open mind to different ideologies, theologies, and idiosyncrasies. Pull from everything for all things are beautiful since all things are from God. All the saddest things contain all the most beautiful things as well as all the most beautiful things contain the saddest things. Life is cyclical. I AM.

I try and guide my fucked-up self by this verse: "Therefore, go: get your countrymen in Exile and say to them, 'Thus Says the LORD,' whether they listen or fail to listen." Ezekiel 3:11. It's the OT equivalent of Christ's commission of Matthew 28. Making disciples. But you always must realize that there will be those who will never listen. And you must shake the dust from your feet. But you must push forth to get the exiles and turn them around from head to foot from heart to soul. Believe in God. Trust in God. Know in God. Be with God.

And music, be it secular or Christian, blasphemous or sodomous, is the sinew and the string that hold the ventricles of the heart together, that mend the souls irreparable parts, that tie the lobes together. Music creates the waves to make us feel human. Without music, there is no soul. Without rhythm (aleatoric or symphonic), there is no life, there is merely silence and stagnance. But... silence is its own music. We can't escape the beauty of our most sordid thoughts. Believe in God.

Have faith in Man but never trust it lest the aforementioned prerequisites are in place, of course. Souls are all connected, we are all connected, our sins are everyone's. Christ died for everyone's unifying sin. We are all serial killers and rapists and pedophiles and perverts and racists. We are all lovers and fighters and supporters. We are one. We are each other. Christ died for all of it so we could within the breadth and cover of his silver wings that protect us from Satan's ineffable savvy beckoning. We will all sin. We must all forgive.

We must be humble, we mustn't demand recognition. I was raised to do good whilst flying under the radar--create the tireless chugging ideology of goodness without recognition because being known destroys everything. Be without megalomania. Know yourself, know your God, may it be enough for enlightenment.

Believe in God. The universe tends to unfold as it should.

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