It's a conniption.
An occupation. I'm ready for it to end. I'm ready for the world to cycle.
I'm ready for it to end. I know it won't, because my greater purpose is still germinating. But every night I want to die. That's probably why I sleep so much. I tell my friends that it's my way of resetting, but, really, it's a rebirth for the day. Sleep is death's cousin, and it's the closest I can bring myself to suicide. At the end of a nap or a night of sleep, there isn't a great and golden enigma, there's life again, and the day can continue, let us forget about what has unfolded already. Let's reset. I need you to forget I ever said that. Let's reset. I wish that you would too. I mean, really. I've found you among the wheat compressed with despondency, and I really think that you just need a good night's sleep. Don't be irrational and insomniatic. Just lay there. Pray and Believe. Peace and Serenity.
And reset. I want to take a three year nap back in time to slap myself in the face, but instead, I only move three hours forward, because we cannot change what has already been laid--we can only change what lies ahead. We live in a liquid future, a river that runs the path of a concrete past. Like the LA River. That is our lives. Our future moves solemnly through the concrete and the graffiti of our memory until we spill out into the ocean of His Loving Arms.
And sometimes Johnny Knoxville tries to jump our future and breaks his ankle. What a Jackass.
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1 comment:
wow, evan. i never really noticed wat an excellent writer u r. idk if it's a God-born talent, or schooling, but it's good.
anyway, i can hear wat u r saying: i think everyone can. we all want to press that reset button from time to time (some of us more than others). i just don't understand why u want to...maybe that's cuz u had a lot of thoughts packed into that small space, and i just didn't get them all the first time around (maybe i should read it a second time...lol). i mean, idk everything about ur past life (after all i've only known u, wat, 5 years, with only 4 of those being in-person). it just seems like u regret ur past a lot, and i don't think u should. yes i'm passing judgment, and rightfully can do so...this is America, baby :P don't be ashamed of ur past...never be ashamed. cuz if u naturally r, that means ur growing, and wat ur looking back at is a person less than wat u r now: that's a very good thing, actually. and if that's not wat u were getting at in ur writing (and i just totally interpreted it all-around wrong) then just ignore everything i have just said =] haha
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